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Lyrics

you’re gonna lose your body
oh, your kingdom’s gonna fold
and you’ll know your body
from the sound it
makes alone

oh, you’re not gonna lose me
you’re not gonna be alone
i’ll be waiting
here panting
by the door

and the beaten up parts
will leave you by the road
and the broken up things
you need will go

and you’ll find me on a street
on a corner you don’t know
i’ll be waiting
to jump out
in your coat

and the waiters will tell you
i’ve been drinking here alone
i’ve been building up these
rooms i’ve made of notes

and we’ll talk till we bend
our bodies half in folds
till the sun wants us back
again

and the first morning out
will be bright enough to choke
back alleys like friends
you need to know

we’ll be burned up by the light
lying half-dead on the beach
saying things that
we never thought we’d know

what you don’t find
in your hand
you won’t find
in your pocket
hid under your bed
where you hid all
you could from them

the blood
of el cid
so full of lies hid under
your dress
you made
enough smoke
to be poor
till they found
you’re the underfed kid

and i wanted to kiss you
i wanted to tell you
i could fix you
but I’d have been lying
to myself

you pulled out a book
of your pictures
in the grass
and you begged me
you’d tell me to listen
I weathered the talk but I
was tired of the script

and out of your mouth
came little lost dogs
and everyone scrambled
the weight of their coats
and the boots
and they scared you all off
but they scared you all off

were you as sober as me
pushing this thing?
(your heroes, they wait,
done conquering)
will you answer a question
asleep on the phone
answer one thing and
i’ll leave you alone

were you as sober as me
when i asked you to listen?
(your self-help revival is a
mirror in the hall)
your head tilted sideways
asleep on the phone
answer one thing and
i’ll leave you alone

at the gates of that prison
did you give it a chance?
in the back of your mind,
was it part of your plan?
were you wanting to find me
half-hoping you’d lose
half-hoping i’d save you
from the paths that you’d choose

you’re like a child
whose father never comes
whose father never comes any more
you’re like a child
dressed in your better clothes
dressed in your better clothes by the door

were you as sober as me
when you couldn’t get home
when you dumped
all your words
like the weight of a stone
i want to believe you
but i already know
just answer one question
and I’ll leave you alone

stop and then explain this
the words you say are painless
it’s easier to kill these plans

stop packing up these boxes
these garbage bags of dresses
and tell me I don’t understand

the words say I believe you
the clerks here, they don’t have to
it’s talking just to lose yourself

you wanted them to save you
to ask you why’d stay here
when you likened this to your new hell

i’m losing faith
in what I say

you sit staring in a car park
expecting me to follow
i’ve learned to walk the other way

And out of all my answers
The ones that I’ve recanted
I regret most what I couldn’t say

the things you said to mock me
for reasons that were clearly
the work of someone else’s head

said more to stop the ending
from becoming what’s intended
when you insist that you’re last one in

and as your martyrs lost their pages
i fed them lines in stages
from the last days of our broken home

i wanted them to notice
how wrong it was to do this
how far you’d go when left alone

you broke my fingers
said it’s easy
no remorse
i’d make you feel
the hits you swallow
make you empty
make the water
safe to breathe

and all the angels
and their victims
sit in the hallway
making deals
i used to know you
used to follow
all the lines hid underneath

it wasn’t easy
in the ER
to explain
why I had come
it seemed too
easy to the nurses
to explain
what you had done
but I sat quietly collecting
all the reasons in my mouth
i always knew there’d come a night
i’d take you out

singled out
in half-confessions
like a book
for broken kids
the grunted parts
of bitten answers
scattered
fallen from my jaw

regrets in forms
spread on a table
i shouldn’t talk
to stop the blood
you can’t forget that
i’m still waiting
no one knows
How long I’ll hold

count years till you lose count
it’s fear, the fear gone out
everything full and
nothing pained

you break through
but there’s nothing
you scratch through
but there’s nothing
you figured it out
but there’s nothing
you see in her eyes
but there’s nothing

you shovel out
it’s deeper
keep talking
believe her

something changed,
you changed
you can’t count
you can’t count
you can sleep through this
if you’re tired enough
you can sleep through this
if you’re tired enough

you flip
through but there’s nothing
you scratch through
but there’s nothing
you figured it out
but there’s nothing
you see in her eyes
there’s no answer

i’m a gonna loan you my eyes
i’m a gonna loan you my light
i’m a gonna loan you my light
let’s see what you get
what’s pretty sad
i will be there
but you won’t over
why should you lie
but I won’t be lined
bothy’s over

and you figured it out
but there’s nothing
you see in her eyes
but there’s nothing

you shovel out
it’s deeper
keep talking,
believe her

you flip through
but there’s nothing
you scratch through
but you’ve failed this
you figure it out
but there’s nothing
you see in her eyes
but there’s nothing

uncertainties
the doubts
that facts leave
we come from mistakes
come with our
own weeds

your lucky color
has faded
it switches
a tension holds you
when one
burns bridges

you
had your problems
but you
regrouped then
you found your umbrella
in the wrong direction

when in doubt, strike
when in doubt, strike
practice crawling

i’ll overcome
the flaws
i repeat
ignoring mouths of
swords
while monsters, monsters
eat

well, you too
came from mistakes,
someone speaking
your motives
under light bulbs
seemed easy

you were to be called
to rip its head off
but the hours were spent for
nothing
they were crawling

when in doubt, strike
when in doubt, strike
practice crawling

gone the day by your head
i belong here
i’m the lamb on your bed

what you don’t see, my friend
i belong here
come away from your bed

what you need, I believe,
i belong there
i was always on my own
the lone man

i could hear from your lungs
a long breath
i could leave you go

and put the faces, babe
but it won’t last tonight
write down what I say
cause it won’t last tonight
until I’ve changed

gone the day in your room
with the bent lamp
i’ve been here like a dog
i belong here

what you don’t see, my friend
is the inside
come away from your bed

what you see underneath
you belong there
i was always on the run
the lone man

i could hear you turn
in the doorway
i could leave you, leave you go

six days ago we needed rain
we wanted fish out on the streets
and there i was buying food at
midnight
and you were somewhere
fitting clothes
or wrestling the world out of jesus
i kid you not, i kid you not
someday you’ll find out

all the things that I’m not
all the things i “forgot”
all the things that were me
all the things
i kept clean
all the things i kept in
all the things i kept in

less than a week
and all your oaths
mean nothing now,
you need to know
i always saw
just the flaws
that made us stay
like the missing step
the way the bags broke
i kid you not, i kid you not
someday you’ll find out

i was face down
on the floorboards
the last of the
night
we all have regrets
that we
need to take with us

i was under the chair
with my face
on the wood
in the cool,
i wanted to
know
forgetting

the furnace was
mumbling things
in the voice
of a dad
he wanted to give me
a chance
to undo this

the tiniest cut
on my finger
the part of a note
i had left
i needed the PA
to stop ringing

we all have regrets
that we need
to line the edge
of our path
we want to hold on
for some reason

i was under the chair
with my face
on the wood
i wanted to
know how it felt
to forget

i was the boy
who dreamed i could make it
i was the boy
who tried to stop leaving
these lights aren’t helping
and I’m too lost now
i wanted my words to
save us somehow

cause under the weight
of the broken man’s body
i saw the light of the
hole i cut
i could go blind with
all of that beauty
i know this,
i couldn’t keep up

i was a boy
to think you could help me
i was a boy
to lean on you so
i’ll put these lights out and feel
like a savior
i’ll let you in if you’ll just
let go

i was the boy
who wanted to save you
i was the boy
you thought was asleep
i know the lines
that you wanted to save you
i know the things
that you wanted to keep

you’ve been in europe for a week
(it’s a story i half believed)
you’ve been investing in a chinese company
selling herbal tea at half the price
of the corner store
and doctor mei’s endorsed your plight
to change what has become of you

and you say i’m one of many
chasing you around these streets,
haunting you in coffee shops,
imagining you’re an artist with a
spare room full of canvases
and all the secrets that true love
has kept revealed inside your bed

oh.
i’m rarely gullible or gulliver
little things get in the way
i’ve already mapped the exit signs
and i’ll be laughing in my car

you’ve been waiting for a sign
lining plans up in the wings
i’ve been known to wade too far
from fables waiting at the bar,
jarred above the sound of drunks
pushing things a bit too hard
i wander off to pack my things

until you disappear one night
towing friends like movie props
water runs into the sink
as if to tell a story line
a single look’s enough for me
but knowing there’s a hundred more
i wander off to pack my things

there’s a hole inside of you
it’s not the same
no, it’s not the same
as when we were young

there’s a hole inside of you
i see into
but this won’t be
the one for you.

there’s a hole inside of you
and coming through
a hundred scenes
i stopped for you

and i look down like an airplane
at the houses
that forgave us,
all the roads we connected
caught us up in
racing nowhere
at best we made a circle
but pickup sticks
they all became us
there’s the colors…

i have a portrait on my door
a little sketch
of where i’ve been
of all the things that came before
seem unimportant in that ink
we were waiting for an answer
but the answer was to go

i’m going down like you might be
in the ugly arms of your…
so let’s see
let’s go by there,
down the road again
cover yourself in case this gets ugly
in case a fight breaks out again
you know,
in case you forget to come and wake me

i’m a sullen face in the saddest crowd
all huddled around a collision waiting for
someone to fall down, a drunken me
to bear me witness – the black of a ‘68

and all impressions of the lines you say
with a rate to turn all their faces
oh, they combed out the punch lines
but the hardest steps
i ever made were made in secret

cause if you plan it
it’s easy to let go
i see us as that couple down in georgia
looking out a diner window
and if you plan it
it’s easy to let go

there’s no room in here for you
no there’s room
you’ve got words all over you
but they’re just words

and i’m not afraid of anything
my boxes sit on a basement shelf
and i don’t seem to offer
the proof that you need
to live by yourself
and i’ve got food for you
but it’s awful late
and you don’t eat anymore
or so you claim

and i’m not afraid of anything
you say
and i can’t offer proof that
this will be ok

it’s easy to figure out,
but hard to see,
i was hoping that
one day you’d just believe

duck inside of a storefront
and tell me what this means
this isn’t what we wanted
soundtracked by pharaohs from queens

i’ve been drinking chemicals all night
when the nurses come
when every shift steps to the right
when the workers come

cause i’ve arranged this
like a house
a hundred decks of flamingo cards
and stakes that i can ill afford
tonight
the tiny bets that eat away
i’ll leave you drunk on a neighbor’s porch
tonight

get your fingers off my shoulder
bend your perfect skin around
i won’t be your realer collin
i won’t be your come around

i don’t need your re-presumptions
on my friends

i don’t need your breaking body
i don’t need your represents

i’m not losing inhibitions
there’s so much on my hands

i don’t need your perfect body,
it’s soulless call descends

i don’t need your loss of focus
i’ve been waiting on my friends
and this came down to you and i

i’m sure the world hates you,
not my place to pretend

i’ve been waiting by the doorway
thinking this could end
and it will with a cough

my sister sold my house
and i’ve been waiting on a paycheck
all the couches are uneasy
i’ve erased your good intentions
i’ve erased your kinder words

keep your food i’m planning something
the city thinks for me now
the night repays my answers
with questions less profound

i’ll thank you for your patience
the cycle’s almost run
the things i plan, forgive me,
i’ve taken more than not

show me your new calm nature
and i’ll someday trust your cause
i see what has been lost here
my words are often flawed

your tylenol is empty
the bag is quickly sealed
inside of every sentence
you seem to know i steal
the simple plans aren’t easy
i’m sorry for your loss
forgetful, i was truthful
the grimms were catalogs
next week is full of answers
my question suits your cause

i’ll thank you for your patience
the cycle’s almost run
the things i plan, forgive me,
i’ve taken more than not

now that you’re
unprotected
and your fear’s
beneath you
now you’re pure
as you had wished for
your bed
a two-faced promise

go to hell and in
the organs of the monkeys
stupid people read
the coming season
forty walls go up in months
and still the monsters
run the alleys
and you steady yourself there
pleading
for the kitchen to stop its swinging
there’s a purpose for all
this bleating and
you still
can’t speak your mind
you can’t speak your mind

now that you’re
optimistic
your hearing
slowly fades
as if you’re
understanding,
rewind the scenes
and notice

all the signs in the
white barn’s hidden
you rolled on the one
who helped you
the underbelly is too revealing
monsters,
but they couldn’t answer

you’re weaving
and the floor will leave you
there’s a purpose for all
this bleating and
you still
can’t speak your mind
you can’t speak your mind

i’m gonna suit your life
like a hold on
picking up your head like
your red line
until you get rid of me with
your lead stones

‘cause the devil’s feet
are behind the bed door
a strip of light means
nothing to me no more
your voice is scraping up and
far away and waning
i’ve put you down
listening for him, craning

one hand removes a wrinkled coat
button comes apart
and rolls underneath the couch, though no one could breathe
with all this smoke

the simple things
that we’ve left out they
have us hanging here
by our throats
wrapping coins just to stay afloat

it’s a wonder you don’t secretly
follow him home
it’s a wonder

the boxes have nowhere to go,
they’re stacked like forts
your big ideas
seemed to kill us off
no one wants to deal the blow

the bank accounts
are like a smoker’s cough
hacking through a broken throat, well
sell guitars just to stay afloat

i’ve been holding you up
where the light hit, i cut
i’ve been making you wings

and this all comes apart
with the slightest of touch
the clothing piles
on the pile of books
and you always feared
the sound of footsteps

i’ve been holding you up
where the light hit, i cut
i’ve been making you wings

and months ago, in a
orange chair
your hair half in your eyes
you wondered
why the world
didn’t eat us up
on plastic knives

so
why’d you come here?
why’d you come?

lucky you
you misread me
i’m a gone
gone to seed
and i leave it all behind me
leave it all as it belongs

lucky you
you misread me
and the notes dot your lawn
in the door
hiding something
couldn’t put your finger on

oh what o what
have you done
that’s gonna add up to
oh what o what
have you done
that’s gonna add up to

Just a nylon string guitar. No lyrics here. 😉

i wish i had a chance to rewind this
i wish i had a chance to go back
and i see myself as a kid at 24
as a kid who didn’t know right from wrong
and i wish i knew

how to change what i‘ve done
how to change what i‘ve become
how to change
and i wish i could become what i want
what i want